baby: p..p...p
dad: papa?
baby: PUT ON YOUR WAR PAINT
baby: *angry orchestral noises*

theatrefetish:

Things girls look for in a boy:
•Day Man
•Fighter of the Night Man
•Champion of the sun
•Master of karate and friendship for everyone

She wanted me to tell you she saw you dance. She said, when you were little, you and her had a fight, right before your dance recital. You thought she didn’t come see you dance. She did. She hid in the back so you wouldn’t see. She said you were like an angel. She said you came to the place where they buried her. Asked her a question? She said the answer is… “Every day.” What did you ask?

Much love to the women whose skin resembles the earth, to those who wear dark clothing and even darker lipstick, to the ones whose hair defy gravity and all the laws of physics; you live your lives unapologetically and with no regrets. You are all much appreciated and truly blessed.

ally0mazing:

Best insults of all time

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!
NSFW Life Hacks Part 1 Here

Penis pump? I guess I missed out on a very important experience in the bedroom? I assume it’s a naughty thing?

intensional:

when someone asks to see your phone

image

delicatemotion:

randomstuff134:

sodamnrelatable:

take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures

image

some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like

This gave me anxiety

tugbutt:

ohshititsgreg:

*friendly boner*

broner

gaystray:

do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes

caseyanthonyofficial:

I just invented a new word:

Plagiarism

klefable:

"u dont need makeup to be pretty just be urself!!!"

ok but consider this

  • i fucking love eyeliner

dimnuggitz:

Zoom zoom

tastefullyoffensive:

More creations from French Girls, an iPhone app where people draw portraits based on selfies of others. [via]

Previously: Part One